A New Beginning Cirque Du Freak
by Barabbus
Summary: Mr Crepsley's thoughts during the time when Darren and Steve come to the Cirque... and his decision to make a vampire. R&R! Rated T just in case...


**I dunno how this'll go, but enjoy it either way. I obviously don't own the rights to anything... But I still want reviewed...**

I feel myself awaken from the same unconsciousness that overtakes me every dawn. Yet another night of monotony, then. After centuries of watching the human rise and fall and return to dust, I cannot say that I am not sick of the concept.

The sun drifts away. Dusk betrays me yet again, abandoning my sanity for the beast that overtakes the man. Again, I feel the urge to hunt, to kill, to destroy. How amazing that after so much time has passed, that it should still take me by surprise. But then, what did not?

I dress myself in my custom red cape and prepare myself for another night of performing. I remind myself to be as normal - as _human_ - as possible. I tried to calculate my steps, to make them seem less effortless, but the effect of my movement is still the same. They are still captivated by my unnaturally fare skin, my overly elegant movements, my ability to tell their thoughts before they even consider speaking them.

It takes a certain amount of self control not to hunt one of them, but then, I have had so much time to practice... My efforts are less strained, almost automatic. Less to worry about, but not enough to keep me at ease. Never enough to lift the burden that was weighing me down. Not that it mattered.

My immortality was not something I was especially fond of. I did not wish to die - I was, after all, still a rational creature when it came to the matter of death- but to live forever was a sort of death in itself. To watch the world as it was, to feed my life with human blood, to feel completely and utterly alone, was sometimes more than I could take. I did not want to be comfortable amongst the immortals, however. In fact, I had ensured my discomfort in their midst by leaving their ranks and venturing alone.

The Cirque du Freak was a place where I felt the way I should have. The comfort, the people were still present, but the pain had by no means disappeared. And I was able to show the thing that I was without anyone truly _knowing_ what that thing was; what more was there to want? Another companion? Someone to know my pain? Someone to teach, to guide?

Yes, that was exactly it. I wanted an assistant. But was I so selfish that I would take some oblivious human's life merely to satisfy my own carnal wants? Was I really so deranged?

To the stage I went, to do the same act I had done for all too long. A gasp came from the audience. My head turned automatically, defensively. A young boy was gaping at me. I wanted to ask him to turn his head before I snapped it away from the rest of him, but I merely continued toward the center of the stage. I heard the distinct word "vampire" come from his mouth. So he knew. How odd.

I could almost do my act without thinking about it, and so I did. Before I knew it, the boy was waiting for me. He wanted to be my assistant. The fool. But such sour, bitter blood was by no means fit. I rejected his offer. I was quite relieved - I did not wish to take such a young boy's life. It would have been at least half a century for him to fully mature if I had given him the blood.

The night was at its end. Another day of dreamless sleep in a coffin while I was rendered helpless. What a change there should have been, but there was none. It did not matter. Nothing did.

Madam Octa was gone. A note was in her place. The one who had been next to the boy who had known me. Easy to find. I must see what he was like, to know how to punish him.

He plays with the spider in the same way Seba had, almost fond of her. How amusing. I watched him most of the night, evaluating all of his actions, and took just a bit of his father's blood before I retired. What an intriguing boy. What an assistant he could have made. If only.

The boy is approaching me, unafriad, assured that with the weapons the myths described he could surely defeat me. The little monster he called his friend was dying - Madame Octa had bit him - and the boy wanted me to give him the cure. What a way to bribe him, or perhaps an excuse to finally take him under my wing.

I told him what he would have to do, and after much debating he agreed. At last I would have what I wanted. Part of my mourned the loss of the human -Darren- and his potential human life. But the nature that overwhelmed me rejoiced - I would have what I wanted, what I needed. And so I waited...

And my wait was over...


End file.
